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Oooh…mysterious. I liked your story a lot, and thought the filters you used were excellent. Though I wish that the coffee cup at the end was in black and white, too.
Nice job with your video Parker! I liked the way you connected your story with many different images and filters. Nice touch at the end, leaving “as free citizens” until the blackout.
The pacing of the images’ appearances during the bulk of the story could stand some more work. For instance, the moment at “make casual conversation” moves a bit quickly between the couple and the bartender. Also, be careful about stumbling on your words (“sitting alone, a-across the bar” – watch out for that).
I liked the plotline. Some of the editing was done very quickly and didn’t make complete sense with the story. The jump from the man and his wife to the bartender to the man and wife to the fbi agent in the span of about 1.5 seconds was unsettling and didnt feel very comfortable to me. I’m still not sure how I feel about all of the black and white editting. I like the idea but there may be other filters that work better…then again there may not be. Look at some of the other filters and see what works the best.
This was a nice story. Some of your cuts were a little to quick and did not give the audience enough time to absorb what was going on in the picture. Your repetition of filters added a nice effect to the story. As far as the story goes it was well developed. The repetition of your beginning at the end added a nice touch to the story. However, I think your ending would be more effective if you ended on the note of this being the last coffee that they share. It was almost like your story ended twice.
I really liked how you tell a complete story in a short amount of time. Great job with the filters early on, especially the spotlight, the conversation, and the revealing of the FBI guy. I’m not sure if I like the intense b&w look later on, but I understand how it adds to the story and helps with continuity. I would also try to juice up your story to make it a little more unique, since it’s pretty predictable.
Alright, I started off liking the pace of your cuts to ending up hating them by the end. You had a really firm beginning before your visual edits and cuts became distracting. The story was good, but, there was a part where it was obvious you had an “uh” pause while reading your voice over. Overall, the concept is good and should look better fine tuned.
Nice story! I think you should give these people some names and maybe tell more about their background. You can expand on this plot in so many ways. I thought the filters used were overall pretty good. I liked the highlighting effect us used on multiple occasions. One more thing, I think the story would be more realistic if the setting wasn’t a coffee shop but a bar or a restaurant.
Oh parker. When I saw that your video was next on my list, I got really excited for the as free citizens part. Lovely.
“Mysterious Man”
I might try to tell the story in the past, being able to set it up and describe the scene a bit more. Just take some time and reflect on what’s going on and why.
Good Job!
I would suggest cutting your naration at “the last cup they’ll ever have” b/c that’s pretty suspenseful. Something I learned when doing the spotlight effects is to put the top of the light out of the frame, so it doesn’t look like the character is encased in an egg of light.
Your tone is dead on for the writing you’ve got. You’re not overdoing it which is good it adds to the story.
Yes! someone went with the same crime runaway thing like me, don’t let people tell you that it is cliched to do this, i did the same thing but with different conflicts. I liked how your narration had a good flow, not too fast or slow, the perfect pace. great ending, i feel you should keep the tone you have, and done worry about realism, this is art, make it your own vision.
the highlighting effects were very cool and well used as well!
Think about some of the above comments, names, timeframe, B& W. The Black and White works, i would stay with it the whole time but make sure you use the same kind of B & W. i liked how it went to the wide angel twice- one more time and it will be better.
I liked how at the end you repeated part of the first line. I also liked how you used black and white filters to kind of represent the chance they got arrested, but I think it would be stronger if you used the same kind of filter uniformly on all the crops you wanted black and white.
I really liked the story as a whole. I felt like there was a weird transition when toward the end when you kind of retold the story. Overall, I thought your use of filters and effects was very effective! GREAT JOB!
February 21, 2009 at 7:20 pm |
Oooh…mysterious. I liked your story a lot, and thought the filters you used were excellent. Though I wish that the coffee cup at the end was in black and white, too.
February 23, 2009 at 5:27 pm |
Nice job with your video Parker! I liked the way you connected your story with many different images and filters. Nice touch at the end, leaving “as free citizens” until the blackout.
The pacing of the images’ appearances during the bulk of the story could stand some more work. For instance, the moment at “make casual conversation” moves a bit quickly between the couple and the bartender. Also, be careful about stumbling on your words (“sitting alone, a-across the bar” – watch out for that).
February 23, 2009 at 7:08 pm |
I liked the plotline. Some of the editing was done very quickly and didn’t make complete sense with the story. The jump from the man and his wife to the bartender to the man and wife to the fbi agent in the span of about 1.5 seconds was unsettling and didnt feel very comfortable to me. I’m still not sure how I feel about all of the black and white editting. I like the idea but there may be other filters that work better…then again there may not be. Look at some of the other filters and see what works the best.
February 23, 2009 at 7:25 pm |
This was a nice story. Some of your cuts were a little to quick and did not give the audience enough time to absorb what was going on in the picture. Your repetition of filters added a nice effect to the story. As far as the story goes it was well developed. The repetition of your beginning at the end added a nice touch to the story. However, I think your ending would be more effective if you ended on the note of this being the last coffee that they share. It was almost like your story ended twice.
February 23, 2009 at 10:13 pm |
I really liked how you tell a complete story in a short amount of time. Great job with the filters early on, especially the spotlight, the conversation, and the revealing of the FBI guy. I’m not sure if I like the intense b&w look later on, but I understand how it adds to the story and helps with continuity. I would also try to juice up your story to make it a little more unique, since it’s pretty predictable.
February 24, 2009 at 12:51 am |
Alright, I started off liking the pace of your cuts to ending up hating them by the end. You had a really firm beginning before your visual edits and cuts became distracting. The story was good, but, there was a part where it was obvious you had an “uh” pause while reading your voice over. Overall, the concept is good and should look better fine tuned.
February 24, 2009 at 2:54 am |
Nice story! I think you should give these people some names and maybe tell more about their background. You can expand on this plot in so many ways. I thought the filters used were overall pretty good. I liked the highlighting effect us used on multiple occasions. One more thing, I think the story would be more realistic if the setting wasn’t a coffee shop but a bar or a restaurant.
February 24, 2009 at 3:16 am |
Oh parker. When I saw that your video was next on my list, I got really excited for the as free citizens part. Lovely.
“Mysterious Man”
I might try to tell the story in the past, being able to set it up and describe the scene a bit more. Just take some time and reflect on what’s going on and why.
Good Job!
February 24, 2009 at 6:57 am |
I would suggest cutting your naration at “the last cup they’ll ever have” b/c that’s pretty suspenseful. Something I learned when doing the spotlight effects is to put the top of the light out of the frame, so it doesn’t look like the character is encased in an egg of light.
Your tone is dead on for the writing you’ve got. You’re not overdoing it which is good it adds to the story.
February 24, 2009 at 8:01 am |
Yes! someone went with the same crime runaway thing like me, don’t let people tell you that it is cliched to do this, i did the same thing but with different conflicts. I liked how your narration had a good flow, not too fast or slow, the perfect pace. great ending, i feel you should keep the tone you have, and done worry about realism, this is art, make it your own vision.
the highlighting effects were very cool and well used as well!
February 24, 2009 at 1:13 pm |
Think about some of the above comments, names, timeframe, B& W. The Black and White works, i would stay with it the whole time but make sure you use the same kind of B & W. i liked how it went to the wide angel twice- one more time and it will be better.
February 24, 2009 at 3:03 pm |
I liked how at the end you repeated part of the first line. I also liked how you used black and white filters to kind of represent the chance they got arrested, but I think it would be stronger if you used the same kind of filter uniformly on all the crops you wanted black and white.
February 24, 2009 at 4:52 pm |
I really liked the story as a whole. I felt like there was a weird transition when toward the end when you kind of retold the story. Overall, I thought your use of filters and effects was very effective! GREAT JOB!